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I love him very much and have put over a year of effort into this relationship and want it to progress. He will be going back to his parents house. I need answers, i need some guidance. I just feel like he wants to be single so he will be able to go out to clubs and just have the same life as his friends, and just meet new women. Eventually I gave him a chance and I felt the best with him. The whole situation was awful for everyone. For some couples, it can take many years to completely fall out of love with your spouse. Never thought about it that way. I have been dating this guy for 7 months and it has been a long distance relationship for only one. This article has been viewed 3,510,793 times. He’s fixed that he doesn’t want but says we need both to have time. You could have done nothing to prevent it, except maybe to have not believed me in the beginning, which obviously you shouldn’t have. His father is in a different place in his life now and I don’t want my son to inherit one bit of what his father is. We stuck it out for the kids and emotional support I suppose. He says he doesn’t love me anymore all because we don’t understand each other. Then I found out he called his ex wife and told her he was miserable with me. He has always remained that he loves me and it doesn’t matter who he has been with etc, he always comes back and that is because he loves me. I’m looking for direction here. He said he could only be my friend. And I asked him why, he again said I dont know But I couldn’t. He states that he knows he loves me and he cares for me, but he just feels so burnt out over everything and he doesnt know if that is the depression talking or his actual feelings. Now, i am left devastated, i have been with him all these years, worked hard to make us happy, Everthing i already have given to him. You mentioned that there was drama and he appeared to be drained for the last time. Except 2 weeks later I got let go. That evening he sent the email I responded by text but haven’t reached out sense. I loved him more than anything, even myself. But boy things have been rocky since. He said to me another time after that I should not worry about what he’s doing and focus on my self.I would never do things for myself like peticures,buy myself something or go out.I don’t know how to get this out of my mind. It hard that I know where I am standing right now in his heart. He is exactly what I want. This is an important practice when you’re going through a breakup – and it’s even more important when you’re in a new relationship! Although I have no choice and didn’t have a say in it. My boyfriend has lost his feelings I love him and I still want to be with him because he sacrificed a lot for me but I took him for granted and I failed to read between the lines now I’m trying to rebuild what we had but he feels bitter and he is open to solving the issue but he’s been angry with me for three months straight and now he’s just empty how do I get back what we had I don’t want to lose him. He was getting too comfortable I felt.. and even tho he was home alot. His face was like a Christmas tree he was happy, I keep my cool all I said was hello, and walked away, my heart with so much pain..i know that as soon as we had broken up he was with. I love this man so much. The thing is that I’ve got mixed feelings about it, because a week before ‘the talk’ he said that he was still in love with me and that if he wasnt, he would’ve broken up with me already. . Because if he doesn’t come back you don’t want your whole world to leave with him. When your time is up, move on to other thoughts and activities. The argument we had before he did this was because I lost my head and he was in a relationship with a girl and as bad as it is, we were still in contact and had slept together during etc. This is your life right now, for better or worse. I’m not rushing off to divorce because I’ve already been thru one divorce. Last night my boyfriend of 9 months broke up with me. Our relationship is what he’s always wanted. My husband of 10 years told me a few months ago he had divorce papers drawn up, he stopped that but tells me he doesn’t know if he is in love with me anymore. It hurt so bad I couldn’t stop crying. You can’t make one person your everything, no one should have to bare that burden, because sometimes relationships don’t work out, and that is okay. WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO!!!HELP!!!!!!!!! that we shud not force the situation to be okay. I’m thinking about going to a solicitor as he keeps threatening me with one when he falls out with me but I have now said to him that getting a solicitor is not a threat but what annoys me is he keeps saying most guys would just disappear, as If I’m should be so grateful for his helping out as he likes to call if this his arrangements are rubbish only week days a couple of hours at night and it’s pretty much like it or lump it. DO NOT contact him or initiate any!!! It may be hard to believe you’ll fall in love again, but it will happen. I know he cares very much and I know we will still be present somehow in each other’s life, but know it’s really painful. It’s not about my spouse anymore, it’s about my recovery and happiness. please help me to be strong. He didn’t see himself being able to be away from me and didn’t feel that he would be able to put in the effort it would take to be in a long distance relationship for a while, however, right after he broke up with me he realized his mistake and I took him back. I am now surrendering any hope of reconciliation and am looking inward for strength and self-love. I have no real friends and am not close to my family so it’s going to be hard to get through alone. I know it is over. In your head, you want to move forward…but your heart is still with the man you loved. I don”t know what to do, as much as i want to have my self respect, i can”t help but to beg him to try again. He just said that’s how he feels. He texted me the following day saying he absolutely doesn’t want us to stop talking or be anti social. Maybe you feel abandoned, rejected, and unworthy of love. This night I pushed him away… He didn’t come home for two days and when he did come home finally, I just begged for it to work, that I would change. I’ve been searching for different ways to cope when your boyfriend says he doesn’t love you anymore. 6# Your partner always has an excuse for not being at home Frequent business trips, spending long hours at the office, playing games and drinking with his/her friends and never taking you with him are all signs that he/she no longer loves you. We’ve been together for 7 months, it was my first real relationship and i gived him everything. We rarely were intimate as I was so resentful because I carried the responsibility of the home, my f/t job, and our son’s life. Hi Sarah I love him so much and I told him I don’t want anyone else but him. Im feeling empty and can feel the depression leaking back in. If someone can’t see the value in you, it’s not worth pursuing because they’re going to always fall short. Something i do advice is to not beg it will make things worse trust me. I have been unemployed for nearly a year due to my ex taking my job away, and a couple of operations that I had to have. But we live and we learn. On top of it he’s from a dysfunctional family. Tomorrow he leaves for his home country (originally supposed to be a short trip) but I know he’s not coming back. I have never loved like this before, and it’s such a fear to know I have lost it and it won’t come back. We talked for about 30 minutes, a little heated, but mostly calm. ", memories items so you won't continue to think about this person. and after last night he told me he’s sorry he dont love me. He hasnt called once to even ask me how i am doing. Thank you for being here, and sharing what you’re going through in your relationship with this man. But here’s the thing .. if he does not take this time to figure things out and fix who he needs to be, we would never work. I know deep down that its better like this. I’ve loved him since I was thirteen and I am now 21, my love has only grown with the years. Things haven’t always been that good. Sounds like, “Well, I do not want anything bad to happen to you. Sometimes the best way to save a relationship – especially when your partner says he doesn’t love you anymore – is to give him time and space to figure out what he wants. I gave him his key and walked out of his house crying like I’ve never cried before. He would plan to see me and I would feel so unbelievable happy and hopeful and then he would say he can’t and it crushed me. I mean because still hanging on to him might end up being a bad situation. No matter how clear it was that you don’t have a future with someone, it’s still not easy to just stop thinking about him after a breakup. After being there a few days he was concerned for me because I was having a hard time signing up for classes at my college– a mix up with my ACT scores getting in to them on time. And my cold coffee is next to me! How do i do it guys? My life would have ended at that moment. If you are no longer “in love” with your spouse, or your spouse is no longer “in love” with you, act now, before it is too late. It makes me feel a little better to know that I was the one who initiated the breakup conversation, because I was feeling neglected (After 7 months he never said I love you, or bought me a gift, or celebrated anniversaries. I wasn’t dating my boyfriend for very long ( alittle under six months) when he broke up with me. Isn’t that sufficient for me to have reasons to move on? we were in a heated argument because he stopped speaking to me for days, i approached and told him lets talk and he became angry and to the top of his lungs so i became argumentive also, he then says i have falling out of love with you. I am going through what you went through in January. I know i haven’t had the best attitude lately and that is wrong because he pays most of our bills while i was going to school and being a stay at home mom. I had the abortion, the worst day of my life. God Bless the reader. Is it because we simply love that man? I’m driving myself nuts over this. I am filled with loneliness and anxiety not knowing if he loves me or not. I have to let him go and live his life. But if he has grown indifferent to such an extent that your pains and pleasures no longer affect or matter to him, and it seems as if he is oblivious to your existence, then you definitely don’t need me to spell it out for you – sweetheart, he may not love you anymore. Since our breakup, he’s been out getting blackout wasted different days of the week but still being friendly to me asking if i’m ok and i’m left with picking up the pieces. Then I burned the pieces of paper in a mason jar. He told me he wanted to work things out but not yet! And he kept telling me because we do always have a fight but the truth is he is no longer interested with me, with us sad but all through this process I hope we will be healed… goodluck. Sometimes I don’t feel I’m thinking at all…just feeling. What do you do if you’re not married? My husband a and kicked me on Saturday. Which he did, he called me June 2013. We are still affectionate and when we are good we are absolutely amazing. I gave him space and he used the space as an excuse for straying…I hate it that everytime…everything ends up being my mistake…. These tips are inspired by a reader who can’t accept that her relationship is over because she and her ex didn’t have closure. He said he wasn’t “broken” and he was trying to make me feel better when we met up, he kept saying I’ll be okay with time, but honestly- that just made me feel even worse. You may want to research emotional abuse to get a handle on why you still feel in love with this man. I felt extremely lonely and heartbroken. Then he snooped through my email and found one from when I was mad at him and has thrown that in my face for 10 months. I know he was being honest and open to me , its just that it is so hard to accept it like that.. I think it’s sad he’s not there for you when you need. Once mine told me that he finds me dull and boring and he is not in love with me anymore our relationship is pure room mate feeling. I guess what I’m trying to say is that the clarity for me came from seeing the person as he was. If you can’t afford to do this in a big way, make little, everyday changes. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. all i keep thinking about is all the good things we have done and used to do. I was shocked, and still think im in denial… ive cried, ive been angry… i want him to give it another chance but know that i must move on – your thoughts?! I researched ,and worried, and was just about to go for counseling (to help me help HIM) when this all hit. It has been a little over 2 weeks and I know it will get easier but it really sucks right now. I know what it’s like to put so much into a relationship and have it crumble in front of you. He had texted a girl over the summer in August, a month after our big fight and he must of met her at a bar. After all we’ve been through I was dead inside. I copied the list every morning (things like: I am beautiful, I deserve intimacy, I don’t tolerate emotional abuse, People love to pay me money for what I most love to do, I trust trust worthy people etc.) Before I camse back to Spain we argue because I told him I was tired his mom to run our economy and life somehow ( I dont think she knew how hurting it was, and maybe she was trying to help somhow but without weven mention the possibility of renting or selling the condo ….I wonder why? I know none of that really matters to you, but it does to me. I also said, I want to talk to him. Should i give him up and move on? Do you think we have a chance of getting back together? I was so hurt too I felt he abandoned me. I confronted him last night. And I truly madly love this man. He said, “I don’t know.” I asked him why he said all those things before about loving me and he said he thought at the time that was the right thing to say. I just wanted to be left alone… but I knew in my deepest feelings. I have taken a back seat and given us both time. :'( i love him and we have our son. If you’re ready to stop having feelings for someone who doesn’t love you back, cut any ties with the person, at least temporarily, so you can heal. That is when everything changed. I've honestly felt unlovable for years, but I know now, "Been a bit stuck for years (on and off), but I read that it may hurt the other person to not be able to reciprocate, "It really helped give me great perspective after my wife of ten years up and dropped the bomb on me. Now he’s made plans to move abroad in five to ten years and start another business. Get strong and healthy. He left to another city where we were suppose to move in together next week. Please share, Kim, I feel so alone and I have been crying for last one month. I have a tiny house and took the youngest. Three months passed and then out of the blue he said we needed to have a serious conversation. This article helped me recognize my feelings, and, "It has helped me to realize how strong I am. We kept making up but eventually he had enough. My husband and I were together for 16 years married for 12. But i guess his love is not strong enough. Just like the other 2. I couldn’t think of anything but him and my friendships and social life suffered. I will go to a psychologist, but im afraid to tell them my teenage love life after a kid who lost their parents or something much worse. But no matter how hard I try to be strong I just can’t ..i feel like everything just fell apart I’ve been crying my self to sleep and waking up crying for the past few days ..and I hate myself for being like that .. he just made it clear that there’s no chance that this would work out again and for me to get rid of all the hopes that I have ..if only it was that easy I wouldn’t end up searching for ways to heal myself on the internet .. I cannot imagine life without him. 8 Signs He Doesn’t Love You Anymore,,,, 4 Ways to Cope With Valentine’s Day After Your Husband’s Death, How to Stop Thinking About Someone After a Breakup, 20 Gift Ideas to Surprise and Delight Your Girlfriend's Parents, 17 Sympathy Gift Ideas for Someone Who Lost a Mom, How to Cope With Guilt and Grief After Rehoming Your Dog, 7 Tips for Dealing With Controlling Parents, 20 Gift Ideas for Your Boyfriend's Mom and Dad, 8 Thoughtful Gifts for Someone Whose Pet Died, How to Cope When He Says "I Don't Love You Anymore", How to Cope With Christmas After a Painful Loss, How to Experience God’s Presence in Fresh, Meaningful Ways, When Life Feels Impossible: How to Find Strength and Hope, How to Get Through a Season of Spiritual Emptiness, Dealing With Feelings of Guilt and Grief After Your Dog’s Death, Travel in Faith: Tools & Tips for Travel That Transforms You. This will help create a healing space for you to deal with your grief. I told him that but he just responded: “I’m tired.” He didn’t show concern of my health. He can’t even look into my eyes and take a joke. I broke up with him shortly after he told me about him moving out- I was just over feeling like a secret. they even went as far as to search his entire phone, and break up with me over text AS their son. Thank you for being here, and for being so honest about what you’re going through! Well 4 years ago we bought a Camaro this became my happiness. He has a drinking problem and finally diagnosed with PTSD. I have bent over backwards to change my outlook on our relationship.. tried everything I can to make him happy.. and its not enough.. he looks at me and tells me he feels Im doing all these nice things for him because I have to.. not because I want to.. so it just doesnt matter what I do.. it seems he will never believe Im doing all this things for him because I want to.. He told me he is very sexually attracted to me, and i am his dream guy and that he loves the fact i am up for anything – a hike- a trip- chill at home etc. My experience is fresh. We were engaged, I had a few job interviews lined up were he lived, since we had talking about me moving in with him, and the commute from my current job to his place was too far. On top of that you have shown them an unhealthy relationship because you sound like you can’t stand their mother and I’m sure your actions aren’t hidden as much as you may think so. Many women say they thought their guy was about to break up with them when he popped the question! My partner of 18 years just told me he doesn’t love me anymore just out of the blue!! Three days ago I gave him my arrival date. he treated me so bad before the break up. So we decided to go live our lifes apart from eachother. My mind & heart cant handle it. Every time i saw him after that i knew i was in love but never shared my feelings.In 2015 we reconnected and since then we have planned all our vacations together. However, it is getting harder to attract women at my age. Though hard as it may be, I will take it all on board, could relate, "I am just beginning to forget someone who didn't love me back. 1. I now realize that his unhappiness is not my fault and i realize that i cant blame myself for his actions. You could ask him to go to a few therapy sessions with you. It was slowly coming to an end and broke it off completely 5 days ago. I don’t get it…but I have stopped trying to communicate with him. I’m Devastated! I was with my ex for 10 years. A week later I sent an email so my side could be heard, I just wanted answers as to why this happened, why he couldn’t fulfill his promise to be with me to the end… I received no reply. Develop a new gym routine. He wants to help but changes arrangements about and dictates when he sees the children never on a weekend, he to is a student newfound leaf of life and is very focused on this and thus alone. i feel ashamed of myself. The only other option is to stay in your begging, pleading, powerless position — and that’s not a good place to be. Since I hurt him he said he needed space and time. How can I start again? Start thinking about recreating your life without him. He took the role of step dad. So, she sometimes needs help getting things done, and I’ve always been there for her. My husband and I have been married for 4 years. She spoke with him she called back and apologized saying it is over he’s not in love with you anymore he said it happened about 4 months ago and he tried to get it back but he doesn’t love you like he did in the beginning and he can’t do it anymore. He told me after lots of prayer he decided he still loved his ex and his soul hadn’t been right since leaving her. 3 weeks ago I asked him if he was still in love with me, because I felt like I was the only one putting effort in our relationship. A weeks vacation words of advice, I want him back but at the of... Engagement everything change remember is the main reason he is the only one who got our broken. Also this is the best that came out and I can finish the deck job, acted... Boyfriend still love him so much in these what to do when he no longer loves you years with two short relationships of less a! Important because of my health most on here I feel soooo lost, looking for an online therapist help. And did everything for her 6th time that this happened his relationship with me it! Morals, values, goals, etc honestly feel so joyful and happy supported. Will go away talk about him … read more » 19 so I... 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